Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Another new beginning

In short,
I used to blog. Then I didn't.
I used to take pictures of my fashionable clothes, now I don't.
I used to paint, now I just...well, I don't.
I used to be creative every day.
And then a tiny miracle came along....
I'm struggling with the fact that I have this beautiful, perfect, absolutely amazing baby boy that I love more than life itself, and I feel more lost than ever.  I'm obsessed with this small human, but I've lost my creative drive. Well, I haven't lost it per say...I'm too tired to do anything about it. I'm too worried that my little man rolls over on his tummy in his sleep, that Johnson's shampoo might cause cancer, that the car seat isn't tight enough...I'm obsessed with him.
Can I still even call myself an artist? I'm just lost. A tiny person relies on me 100% and its both wonderful and terrifying...I'm a 26 year old mother, girlfriend, sister, daughter, artist, and confused one. What am I doing?! This is a new beginning from an old thing, something to share in a way I haven't.

I'll end with a quote describing me perfectly.
"If you've ever had that feeling of loneliness, of being an outsider, it never quite leaves you. You can be happy or successful or whatever, but that thing still stays within you." -Tim Burton
So through this, I hope to discover my voice, knowing I will always have those feelings.